Plenty of time to do nothing
Ok, so I haven´t been very active lately - I haven´t even reported all the annoying (and stinking) things that my cats have done in the wrong places (which they have done, the bastards!). Instead I´ve been busy doing nothing.
Suppose that was what I needed.
And it´s not even true. I just haven´t done any paid work for quite a while now. But instead I´ve had a lot of time to think, and to feel miserable, and to feel even more miserable - and slowly begin to feel better again...
What happened? Too much at the same time. Shit I had been running away from finally got to me - and it was a lot more than a full load in the kittylitter box...
Anyway, the month of August was one of the worst months I´ve had to endure in a loooong time, but now it´s September, and right now life feels good! (but since I´m officially depressed, I suppose I should just sit down and wait ´till this feeling goes away...)
Actually, I´m writing this just to let R know that my cats are still doing their best to make my life miserable - but let´s not blame them for the mess I´ve been in for the last few weeks... I caused it myself by believing I was Super Woman and working too hard, for too long. Then Life didn´t make things easier by suddenly forcing me to struggle with some very disturbing, but unavoidable, existential questions - and, well... for a while that was a bit more than I could handle. Of course, the same questions are still without answers, but I seem to be getting used to not having any answers. And some days I can even laugh at the absurdity of the entire human existence.
And now, some more Kitty News:
A few weeks ago, I almost got myself a fifth cat... It was a homeless little thing that a friend left in my house, because he felt sorry for the lost and hungry creature (- and he claimed he couldn´t adopt any kitten, although he has only two cats from before - two big ones, that is true, but anyway, four normal size cats are more than two big ones, whichever way you look at it...).
The cat was here for one day, and I just fell in love with the tiny thing! I had almost decided to keep it if no owner showed up. But unfortunately somebody did come and get it! [Maybe I will adopt another little cat later this fall. I do have "doctor´s order" to do things that cheer me up.
Well, that little cat certainly did!]
Suppose that was what I needed.
And it´s not even true. I just haven´t done any paid work for quite a while now. But instead I´ve had a lot of time to think, and to feel miserable, and to feel even more miserable - and slowly begin to feel better again...
What happened? Too much at the same time. Shit I had been running away from finally got to me - and it was a lot more than a full load in the kittylitter box...
Anyway, the month of August was one of the worst months I´ve had to endure in a loooong time, but now it´s September, and right now life feels good! (but since I´m officially depressed, I suppose I should just sit down and wait ´till this feeling goes away...)
Actually, I´m writing this just to let R know that my cats are still doing their best to make my life miserable - but let´s not blame them for the mess I´ve been in for the last few weeks... I caused it myself by believing I was Super Woman and working too hard, for too long. Then Life didn´t make things easier by suddenly forcing me to struggle with some very disturbing, but unavoidable, existential questions - and, well... for a while that was a bit more than I could handle. Of course, the same questions are still without answers, but I seem to be getting used to not having any answers. And some days I can even laugh at the absurdity of the entire human existence.
And now, some more Kitty News:A few weeks ago, I almost got myself a fifth cat... It was a homeless little thing that a friend left in my house, because he felt sorry for the lost and hungry creature (- and he claimed he couldn´t adopt any kitten, although he has only two cats from before - two big ones, that is true, but anyway, four normal size cats are more than two big ones, whichever way you look at it...).
The cat was here for one day, and I just fell in love with the tiny thing! I had almost decided to keep it if no owner showed up. But unfortunately somebody did come and get it! [Maybe I will adopt another little cat later this fall. I do have "doctor´s order" to do things that cheer me up.
Well, that little cat certainly did!]
posted by grumpyoldbitch | 1:21 AM
5 Comments:
Ah, you've finally discovered that La Belle Maria and I have been using your blog as our personal correspondence site.... Welcome back!
We just got back from a week visiting Chuck's family near Seattle. So I'm back, unfrenzied by work, and eager to hear more about your existential angst. Hope to talk to you soon.
Signed, Your Faithful Reader
I like your nickname for me! What if I could make everyone use it when they adress me?
I am now A Married Woman. Everyone keeps asking me how that feels. Which seems a little odd to me. It doesn't feel like anything at all - nothing has changed, really. i mean, we've been living together for years. But the party was A LOT of fun and I did get to feel very Belle for one day.
I've just been asked to write an article full of air and fluff and I've never had to write one of those before. But a freelancer can't be too choosy I suppose. Sigh. I find myself lurking on the nano forums again... At least writing a nanovel would be my OWN text and not some entertainment nonsense. I might use the month of November to write my own stuff but not necessarily follow the nanorwrimo-rules.
I'm glad there is less angst and more cat-love going on in this blog again. Hope the fall continues in these lines!
Well, I suppose we have to call you Mrs. L.B. Maria now! Congratulations. Are there photos from your wedding? And where was the honeymoon? Poor Ted.
Our trip to Seattle was for the wedding of Chuck's second sister-in-law's adopted daughter, aka his step-niece. (How's that for a complicated American family?) The event was so fun I could almost see doing it myself. Although I wouldn't necessarily replicate this bride's kazoo solo in the middle of her vows....
All your talk about home-made pickles and marmalades has inspired me into a frenzy of happy housewifery. In our case, that mostly means we're actually cooking for dinner rather than eating pre-made salads from the grocery store. I've got chicken tikka marinating in honor of our recent India expedition.... Perhaps I'll have to learn how to make mango chutney to keep up with you!
There are photos and once we actually have internet access at home again I'll email you some. Right now I have to go to the library to read my mail and it's driving me crazy. It's very very hard to do my work this way, but we just haven't had the time to set up a connection efter the move, what with the wedding and everything.
The honeymoon was in Florence and we splurged on a four-star-plus-hotel which was veeery swanky. The breakfast was almost the best thing - I wish I got to wake up to something like that every day! I'm sure it would make life a lot easier and just more sunny.
Yesterday we finally moved our last piece of furniture - the freezer which has been at my mothers until now. So this weekend will be all about preserving and freezing and making chutneys and whatnot! There's a big fall market in the neighbouring town today and if I only have some time from all my work I'll drive there. I tried to get out of writing the fluff article, you see, by coming up with a better idea. Now they want both... By next friday... Help!
Will she never post again? Lacking any kitter litter news of my own these days, I long to hear how that Swedish-speaking Finnish litter box is doing.
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