I should have known better

After 2 hours in rush-hour traffic, in the drizzling rain, I noticed that being out of the house wasn´t going to make me feel any better - on the contrary, I began to notice in myself all kinds of murderous feelings towards my fellow citizens; I felt like slapping all those stupid idiots talking about silly things on their mobile phones in the crowded bus, and I just didn´t want all those stinking humans so close to me... Because for some reason I just can´t understand, the city-buses, both here and in Helsinki, always smell of wet dogs (and I never liked any kind of dog smell - and I especially hate the smell of wet dogs!) when it´s raining outside.
Of course, I´d never actually go berserk and start hitting those smelling, babbling, irritating-looking commuters, but why on earth did I have to go out in the first place? [Probably because I´m an idiot]
I did buy some wine, though, and I did go to the grocery store. And yes, I even bought a book...
I try to stop buying so many things (- and "things" for me are mainly books and CD:s - I very seldom buy anything else, but that doesn´t help much since I buy an absolutely absurd amount of books and CD:s - every year...), but then I forget - or if I don´t forget, I just have a very short debate within my own head, and there´s always the argument "But what do I need that money for anyway? I might get killed by a bus - or stabbed by a crazy person [there are lots of them in the streets here in Sweden - and I suppose they have grown in numbers since they decided to close almost all the old mental hospitals, the ones where me and my student friends spent our summers working, in the early '80... but since then they have let the lunatics run free - because it´s cheaper... ] today or tomorrow, so why not allow myself to by that book/CD right now?" So I usually end up buying whichever book or CD I happen to be interested in. One good thing about being "child free" is that I can permit myself this little perversion, since I don´t need to think about leaving any inheritance to the next generation...

Around 17.20 I was at T-centralen, smack in the center of Stockholm, trying to get on a metro train, as was every other damned person in the whole city as well, it seemed...
I got off rhw at "Universitetet", with my heavy load of wine and groceries and books, and was happy to see that there was a bus supposed to come within 2 minutes, a bus that would take me almost to my (that is, Kjell´s) front door. But of course, this bus for some reason decided not to come - so instead I ended waiting 13 minutes in the rain - then taking another bus that left me a bit further from from home, and dragging all my stuff - uphill - for the last half kilometer or so.
When I got back I was angry, hungry, wet and tired.
And who can I blame? Who sent me out in that damned weather? Nobody! I thought I wanted to go.
Sometimes I´m just such an idiot.
[I should have known better...]
After dinner, a movie on DVD and half a bottle of wine I´m not angry or hungry or wet anymore - just tired...
Tomorrow just has to be a better day.