Human waste

I haven´t written in this blog for a few days, because I´ve been exhausted by the continuous exposure to the smell of cat urine - and also by my halfassed intent at cleaning up the mess I´m living in.
My car is now unofficially called "Pissan Sunny", instead of "Nissan Sunny" - because even though I personally didn´t notice the smell that much after a few days of driving around in it - others have convinced me that it does smell.... And I know for a fact that cats do notice it...

On Thursday, when it was still hot, and the sun was shining, and I was desperately trying to get at least some cleaning done, I had my "Pissan" parked outside, and I decided to leave part of the driver´s seat window open, because I didn´t want to make things worse and have the car turn into a piss-smelling sauna/litterbox on wheels (the only thing missing in that crazy set-up would be me driving around naked in this hot, smelly vehicle, while furiously beating myself - not with birch branches, but with a cat, held by the tail, so that I´d get the maximum of odour into the car, since so much exposure would have made me addicted - and insane... Note! No living animal was harmed by my little revenge fantasy...), and I went inside to drop off some things - cat food, what else? - and when I came out, Otto (by far our smartest cat...) was clinging to the car door, with one of his front paws inside the window, trying to squeeze his little head into what he thought was a nice and warm - and huge - kitty litterbox! I mean, it was evident that he smelled somehting, and he wanted desperately to get inside... That seems to be the reaction of any normal cat when they smell the piss of other cats - they´ve got to go there! And they´ve got to leave a sign that they´ve been there too... Suppose it´s in their nature. But we all know that I have a complicated realtationship with "Nature" - and when what trigges this "natural" reaction in cats is something inside my car, I really wish there was a way to neutralize this instinct to pee where others have done it before. But since I can´t, I just have to let tha car stand there, with just a tiny little opening of the window - unless I want to have all the cats in town standing in line by the car, waiting for their turn to pee in my back seat...
For obvious reasons I have been using my bicyle a lot recently.
But I did get some cleaning done on Thursday, before Kjell got back... Not enough, though, because every time I start an ambitious "cleaning up the house"-project, I almost immediately realize that this is impossible! No human being could have a chance to sort this mess out in one day (to be honest, probably not even in less than 10 years... )- and I had thought I´d do it in about 7 hours.

I have about 50 differente problem aereas - or different size "heaps". Heaps of clothes (or similar items), heaps of books, writing material, note books, articles I´ve printed out from Internet that I "will read one day" etc. I also have heaps of CD:s that I have used for my programs, and which should be put back where they belong. There are also mixed heaps, where you could expect to find anything except things from the fridge, since they ususally start smelling, so I´d get rid of them if they got into some kind of heap outside of their normal area in the refrigerator. Oh, and I forgot heaps of magazines (that I might sort through one day, since I´m sure there was one really intersting artilce in a magazine from July 1997...), and the ever growing heaps of old newspapers... I already have a year´s worth of Old News, that I´d throw out, if it wasn´t for that one article in one of the papers, the second week of October last year (or around that time...) that I just have to find - that is, once I get around to sorting through my paper heaps... So I really need a lot of free time, and an incredible amount of spare energy to start sorting through my heaps. And strange as it may sound to people who were born with "a sense of order" (or to people who for some reason have acquired a lifestyle where order is a high priority...), as long as I don´t touch my heaps I can usually find what I need if I look for something - but once I´ve tried to put things into some kind of order - forget it!! After that I have no clue where to start looking... Not to mention the confusion I´m plunged into when My Mother on some rare ocasion goes way beyond lawn mowing and starts messing with my heaps... We have had a few fights about this one. She doesn´t seem to get it, so if I leave her cat sitting for a lenghty period of time, say a couple of weeks, she sometimes seems to think that the work description includes a permission to mess with anything she might find offensive... like the heaps that can be found all over the floor. The "innocent reason" for doing it is that 'she just wanted to clean the floor and take out the rugs', and then of course she had to get to the floor first... Of course, nobody asked her to do anything about my floor either.

Anyway, I got around to cleaning my bathroom (the human equivalent of the kitty litterbox...) - which according to my dear husband looked like something olny a single, dirty male person would use. Maybe he was right, but I hadn´t gotten aroud to doing anything about it - until on Thursday. To show how brave I am, I went straight for the worst part (which by no means is cleaning the toilet bowl - that´s a piece of cake, and can be done by strong detergent and a longhandled brush...) - the hole in the floor under the shower!! You know which one I meen? this hole that lets the water through, but stops your bigger size jewellery, soaps, small shampoo bottles, shaving material and other things you might drop while in the shower from going down the drain... Well, that is by far the grossest part in the house! It had been smelling for some time, but I had managed to ignore it. But it was getting worse... And I know what´s in there - I´ve cleaned it out before (must have been long ago, but I have done it...) and it didn´t make me wanna stick my hands down there again (if houses would have asses - this would be the asshole of the house!).
Ok, to make a long, and gross, story short, I got out the gunk (- a disgustingly smelly mess consisting of hairs, mostly very long hairs - I must be shedding more than my cats - mixed with tons of dried detergent, and another ton of dead cells from human skin... it was so GROSS!!), and my neighbour was here when I did my dirty deed, and she totally agreed with me that I should throw away that whole thing that covered the drain hole, the plastic round thing - otherwise I´d have to get into close encounter with my own dead cells mixed with who-knows-what... So I threw the whole damned thing out, went to our friend Wallendahl to bye a new one (he said I was a wimp for not wanting to clean my own hairs and dirt from that thing, but reluctantly he sold one to me anyway...) and I got home - to find it didn´t fit!! Shit, shit, shit!!! Now my pride (and the fact that the store had closed...) gave me a burst of super human energy, and I managed to overcome my resistance, so I got the plastic bag with the gunk/drainhole cover out of the garbage bin, opened it, cleaned it, and got it back where it belonged before I even had the time to think about how disgusting it all was.
End of story.
The heaps are still all over my house, but I got the worst part of my bathroom taken care of. Cleaning the kitty litterbox is nothing compared to this, though...