Early meltdown
This morning I woke up too early, considering I had been updating some blogs until around 1.30 A.M last night - but at least the sun was shining, so I dragged my tired body downstairs to let the two black cats in ( Svarti, the black-black cat, and Otto, the one who has white socks) after their night ouside, supposedly doing -- well, cat things. And as the two black cats came in, the other two went out (the night shift cats came in to sleep so the day shift cats could take over doing their ... cat things), which meant there was no immediate need to deal with the kittylitter box, so from that front there´s nothing to report, but I can share some mental litter instead...
I went back upstairs to continue reading my the airdisaster related book (which has a titel I can´t even remember at this point... they´re all the same! But I love them) and found a funny expression that I wasn´t familiar with: "brain fart" ... I liked that! Supposedly because I´ve let quite a few "brain farts" out through my lips over the years. Some days I´m easily amused, so still chuckling I went downstairs to make some coffee and tell my dear husband about the funny expression. Halfway thorugh my coffee I see my mother coming in her car... and she is on a mission! Grass... She´s out to get my grass. It´s supposedly way too long, and even if it´s been raining for four days in a row, and it might be a good idea to let it dry first, there´s no stopping this woman when she can see an uncut lawn.
Anyway, to make a long story short - she mowed the lawn, and then went home in a huff because I wasn´t as happy as I should have been for her "sacrifice" - nor was I happy a month ago when I got this damned lawn mower as a birthday present. And now I´m seriously inclined to take that loud monster mashine down to the river and DROWN it!!
The problem is not my lawn... It isn´t for me, and it isn´t really for my mother either. The problem is that my mother and I have very different views on how important other people´s opinions on my grass should be. To my mohter, it´s a minor catastrophy if somebody (anybody! people she doesn´t even know...)might think that her daughter has not been mowing her lawn and otherwise kept her garden in a good shape, according to unofficial smalltown standards... While I couldn´t care less! So while we live in the same town, there´s always going to be trouble brewing.
And of course, what makes me boil inside is not so much this unimportant incident, it´s what this incident reminds me of - and that is something a lot more painful... To my mohter my opinions, and my feelings, have always been considered less important than what "people say". It´s always been like that, and somehow I´m used to it. But if this small town mentality catches me off guard - as it did this morning - it can still cause a furious mental meltdown.
I´ll allways have an ambivalent feeling about this small town. Most days I can handle my own ambivalence - some days it´s a bit more difficult.
Her last words, throug the car window, as she left (mission accomplished...) was "you should go live somewhere where no grass grows!"
Well, today it really is an option worth considering...
I went back upstairs to continue reading my the airdisaster related book (which has a titel I can´t even remember at this point... they´re all the same! But I love them) and found a funny expression that I wasn´t familiar with: "brain fart" ... I liked that! Supposedly because I´ve let quite a few "brain farts" out through my lips over the years. Some days I´m easily amused, so still chuckling I went downstairs to make some coffee and tell my dear husband about the funny expression. Halfway thorugh my coffee I see my mother coming in her car... and she is on a mission! Grass... She´s out to get my grass. It´s supposedly way too long, and even if it´s been raining for four days in a row, and it might be a good idea to let it dry first, there´s no stopping this woman when she can see an uncut lawn.
Anyway, to make a long story short - she mowed the lawn, and then went home in a huff because I wasn´t as happy as I should have been for her "sacrifice" - nor was I happy a month ago when I got this damned lawn mower as a birthday present. And now I´m seriously inclined to take that loud monster mashine down to the river and DROWN it!!
The problem is not my lawn... It isn´t for me, and it isn´t really for my mother either. The problem is that my mother and I have very different views on how important other people´s opinions on my grass should be. To my mohter, it´s a minor catastrophy if somebody (anybody! people she doesn´t even know...)might think that her daughter has not been mowing her lawn and otherwise kept her garden in a good shape, according to unofficial smalltown standards... While I couldn´t care less! So while we live in the same town, there´s always going to be trouble brewing.
And of course, what makes me boil inside is not so much this unimportant incident, it´s what this incident reminds me of - and that is something a lot more painful... To my mohter my opinions, and my feelings, have always been considered less important than what "people say". It´s always been like that, and somehow I´m used to it. But if this small town mentality catches me off guard - as it did this morning - it can still cause a furious mental meltdown.
I´ll allways have an ambivalent feeling about this small town. Most days I can handle my own ambivalence - some days it´s a bit more difficult.
Her last words, throug the car window, as she left (mission accomplished...) was "you should go live somewhere where no grass grows!"
Well, today it really is an option worth considering...
posted by grumpyoldbitch | 12:52 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home